mix mix

So much has gone on since my last update. Ugh. I am worn out. So many changes. For the most part, not necessarily bad or good, but changes, nonetheless.

I’m bad about going through with things even when I don’t think I should. I’ve really started noticing this. I think it has to do with not wanting to turn down any opportunities to experience anything new. But, when it gets “serious time”, I’ve really got to start filtering my decisions. I’m easily influenced and I question myself too much. Ugh. I don’t know if that makes any sense… Just something that is stressing me out right now… Besides, it’s my blog and I can be as confusing as I want.

I work at Chesterfield’s now. I’ve never waited tables before, but I like it. I like the people I work with so far and I really LOVE serving the people who have a good sense of humor and are appreciative. I don’t like serving the arrogant ones. Wow. There are so many. Or maybe there aren’t that many, but they really stick out…

I don’t know what I need in my life right now, but I need something. Ok, nevermind. I know: it’s God. I never pray anymore, I barely even think of my soul (and when I do, I sort of quickly push it to the side…), and I’m always feeling a little empty. I know I can grab at everything I see to fill the void and it will never work, but I guess I will just keep grabbing until I really mess things up? Do I not want to be happy? Why am I insistent on refusing what I know will satisfy me most????//// This is hurting me more than anything.

Hm.

Well… I’m dating a super guy right now. He’s different from what I usually go for, but I’m really enjoying him. I do wish he were closer, though. He brought me yummy flowers last weekend. I don’t always like getting flowers, but I liked getting them from him, so that’s a good sign! Got great hair, too. Hmm…

It’s 3:11am

and my mind and my heart are keeping me uncomfortably wired…

~ by andreawodtke on March 28, 2008.